| | Okay, so the Lord answered my prayers and hurried the situation along. I'm done with him. Come to find out, he has a girlfriend. No, he didn't tell me and no, I didn't find out on my own. My homegirl was on his FB page and saw that shit. So I texted him like, "So, in a relationship? Hmm, must be nice." And he's like "yep", all nonchalant and shit. So I proceed to cuss his ass out through text because I was at work. And then he's like "I thought you knew that. My fault, I apologize." So I'm like "If I knew that, I wouldn't be fucking you. I don't get down like that. And I don't Facebook stalk. Someone else told me." So I guess that's the impetus I needed to not talk to or see him anymore. Now I have a solid reason, and while I'm pissed off, I'm happy. It's weird because I've been trying to push him away from me for so long, but I always gave in. Thank you, Jesus. Like, as mad as I am, I am soooooo relieved and so happy. Just cutting him off without a valid reason wasn't going to work for me. Now that I have that reason, I feel a lot better. Deleted him out my phone, deleted him from FB, now I have no freaking reason to talk to him. What can I say? It was good while it lasted (and boy, was it good *wink*). But I was telling one of my homeboys about it and he was like, "He's gonna come back. It's just up to you to say no and keep it that way." I feel like he's absolutely right. He was like, "Give it a few months and dude will call you or text you. You just gotta ignore it." We had been messing around for over a year. It's not like we just started chilling or anything like that. I won't say we have history or anything like that, but in a way we kind of do. When you have sex with a person for that long, whether you're in relationship or not, you're gonna have some sort of feelings for that person. I don't give a damn. He can sit there all day, shout to the Lord and scream until the cows come home: he had feelings for me. And unfortunately, as this blog shows, I had feelings for him. I feel like it's gonna take me a while to get over it, but I will eventually. Outta sight, outta mind. Ain't that how the saying goes? Like, it was hard to get over him while we were still texting/calling each other, but when you don't talk to that person for a long time, that shit subsides eventually. Obviously he didn't care about me enough to be honest with me, so I could give a shit about him now. When I found out, I was to the point where I didn't care if he walked into oncoming traffic or some shit like that, real talk. I know that's not right but when you mad, you mad. But I'm cool now. Talking it out with my friends and thinking about it has done me good, I guess. All I can say is I'm glad he's in another state because if he was still living here, he would've gotten fucked up. And that's real. I was telling one of my friends that when I get really mad, it ain't pretty. It's prety terrible, actually. I probably would've busted out his windows or something like that. I'm just upset that he couldn't be honest with me about it, you know? I let him know when I had a boyfriend and we stopped talking and fooling around when I was in that relationship. But he couldn't have been man enough to tell me? Like, what the fuck? You cheated on your girlfriend with me. I don't even know how long they've been together, but I just feel bad for ol girl. Like damn, homie. You're dude cheated on you with me. I could FB her and tell her, but A) I'm not one for drama and B) I don't wanna be the person in the middle. I AM classy, I'll give myself that, lol. I just don't like being lied to. As far as my pet peeves, aside from people being tardy, people not returning texts/calls and people staring at me, a liar is quite high on the list. He lied by omission, but IT'S STILL FUCKING LYING. Man, I am TOO good for this. God has blessed me many times over, and I don't freaking deserve to be treated like this. I'm awesome, cute, I have 2 degrees, my own car and crib...AND a full-time well-paying job...AND I'm trying to go to law school! But in the end, I also let myself be treated this way. So yes, it's my fault. I'm woman enough to admit that. Never too prideful to admit when I'm wrong. I guess that's it, though. I guess that's the last hurrah. Til next time...DEUCES. |
| | Posted 9/30/2009 1:18 AM - 1 View - 0 eProps - 0 comments
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