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Shanazz
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Name: Nazz
Country: United States
State: Massachusetts
Metro: Boston
Birthday: 11/3/1986
Gender: Female
Interests: Right now, my interests are pretty much anything except college. Chillin', anything relating to MLB (esp. my BoSox!), hustlin', shoppin', causin' DEBAUCHERY, talkin' nonsense...just your typical college kid stuff
Expertise: I seriously don't have any expertise. I can type a million words a minute, if that counts for anything...
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  smlbfreak
Yahoo:  bnugg
Member Since:
11/15/2005
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| I'm Really PatheticWow. He came to see me. No, on the outside looking in, it’s not that big a deal…but it was to me. I mean, this little “friendship” we have going on is so one-sided in his favor. For instance, I always go to his place, he always eats my food when I bring some over, he always makes the first move [don’t know how favorable that one is, lol], etc. So naturally, when he told me he was in my town [yeah, we live in different towns, like 10 minutes apart], I was very excited. Thinking back on it today, I’m sitting here laughing at myself for fervently trying to clean my already-clean room some more, making sure my bathroom was extra spiffy, hiding weird stuff and pulling on interesting stuff. It was so cute :) But yeah, we chilled outside at first with one of my friends until he got cold and wanted to come inside. He ended up staying only like 10, 15 minutes because he rode with some people and didn’t wanna keep them waiting, but hell, I thought that was awesome enough. I told my home girl that Hell was gonna freeze over because he actually came. And it’s weird because she had been telling me that I need to stop saying “yes” to his invitations to come over and get him to come to my place. I mean, I really had no part in this; it’s not like I said, “Hey, you should come to my place instead of vice versa,” but I’ll take it how I can get it! LMAO. I really hope this “schoolgirl” crush I have on him subsides, because a) everything was smoother and more concise when we didn’t know we were “feeling” each other and b) I’m like a bubbly, giggly nutcase when it comes to him now, ugh! I hate that shit. But like I said in my previous entry, it’s not gonna progress past the “f*ck buddy” stage, sar [that’s “sorry” in lazy terms, lol]. Unless he makes strides to change some of his ways would be the only way I’d even consider it, but I don’t see that happening. For now, I’ll just bask in my lil’ crush mood. As you would know if you've read my previous entries, I just got out of a relationship in January. And although it's been four months, I don't really feel like [or ready to] jump into something with someone. We can chill, cuddle, do whatever, but I don't want a boyfriend. It's the summer, I just got out of college and all I really wanna do is have some fun!
**For clarification's sake: I know a couple entries ago, I mentioned something about a guy I was interested in, who was also interested in me. This is NOT the same guy as the f*ck buddy, lol. For those of you who actually do pay attention to my blog [which is probably just myself and God], had to straighten that out for you. But as for that guy I was interested in, yeah I nipped that in the bud a minute ago. He was gettin' weird on me.
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| He Caught Feelings First...Now I'm F*cked, Buddy**sigh** So I think I'm in a pickle. Over what, you ask? Over the -- dare I say it -- much debated f*ck buddy scenario/situation thing. It's weird because it's been brought up on Xanga a lot over the past month or so, which is about how long I've been dealing with these weird emotions about it. I won't go into much detail because we'd be here all day, just that my "friend" and I started chillin' August of last year, stopped after I began a relationship with someone else, and commenced once that relationship ended. We've been going [at it!] strong since January, and everything had been pretty much excellent until mid-late April. See, he caught feelings first...if my text message memory serves me right. Example A: He and his roommate hosted an after-party at his house one night and I tagged along with my friends. I wasn't really having a good day and I guess he could sense that when I brushed past him without speaking on my way out the door. He automatically assumed my attitude had something to do with the females who were hanging on him all night [side note: he's very attractive, very charismatic and very popular, which can be dangerous!]. He texted me later, "Don't think I was doing something cuz I wasn't, alright?", or something to that extent. I told him my anger had nothing to do with him, because it didn't. Example B: We were "flirtexting" [I guess that's what people call it?] one night and he tried to get me to admit that I liked him. To ease him, I told him I did and asked him if he liked me. He responded with, "Yea, I ain't gonna lie". And that's when stuff changed for real, for real. These two examples happened within like, less than a week of each other [don't know if that matters or not]. The things he's been doing/saying seem to be more heartfelt, I've noticed. For instance, he'll call or text me to check on me, to let me know when he's leaving or entering town, etc., and it wasn't really like that before [or maybe it was and I never noticed it]. Now that he's essentially admitted to liking me, I feel like I might be crushing on him too, which ain't supposed to happen! Like, why did he even admit that shit to me? I'm one of those people who believe that FWBs/f*ck buddies/booty calls absolutely CANNOT and SHOULD NOT become relationship material. Call me old-fashioned, a realist, a whatever, but that's just how I feel. Ok, I will say this: I feel like he would be great boyfriend material, but I just cannot see myself being in a relationship with him. From what I understand, he was [or perhaps still is?] a male whore [which sort of makes me retarded for sleeping with him]. At least, that's what word on the street was when we first started hanging out. I would say to someone who also knew him, "Yeah, I chilled with so-and-so last night" and they'd be like, "Oh, for real? You know he a ho, right?". That's one thing I prided myself on from jump, knowing that I probably wasn't the only one and, not really being "content" with that, but recognizing it and pushing it to the side. Apparently, I might be the only one now. We spend an awful lot of time together for him to be fucking around with someone else, but anything is possible. Trust, dudes will make time to chill with other females if they're feeling them in that way. I guess I can also be proud of myself for holding out and not catching feelings until he did; cause, you know, usually it's the other way around with the female giving in first. Part of me feels like I should end the whole "sex" aspect of it right now and maybe just hang out with him. We've actually done that quite a few times and I enjoyed it, just sitting there watching TV and joking around, not having to worry about who's making the first move or if I'm staying for breakfast, lol. I must admit that I do overanalyze shit, I think too much and I worry wayyyy too much. Honestly, he could've been lying when he said he liked me, he could be saying the same thing to other girls [which is why I brushed it off when he told me] or maybe he doesn't even mean "like" in that sense. Anyway, for those of you out there involved in f*ck buddy situations, UNLESS YOU HAVE NO HEART/SOUL, YOU WILL CATCH FEELINGS! No ifs, ands, or buts about it, I promise you. Doesn't matter if you're male, female, whatever. I never thought it could or would happen to me, now look @ my ass! Tragedy.
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| CongratZ, c/o 2009!Did I really just do that? I don't think I did. Yeah, you say? Well, I guess I'll take your word for it, when you say I JUST GRADUATED FROM THE UNIVERSITY OF NORTH CAROLINA AT CHAPEL HILL! It doesn't even feel real yet. Like, it hasn't sunk in that I have degrees, that I'm not gonna be registering for classes next semester, and getting up to catch the bus before all the other students in my apartment complex take all the seats. I guess you could say I'm sort of emotionless. But you know what? Pretty sure it'll feel all too real when rent starts rolling in and I have to pay light bills, cable bills, etc, lol. But I have at least another 2 months until I have to worry about that, so I'll just enjoy my summer in limbo for the moment :) | | |
| 2009 National Champs!Yes, so the Tar Heels are officially the NCAA Men's Basketball champs for 2009. It's weird because I've been dreaming about this for the past four years, been asking myself how cool would it be to graduate the year they won another 'ship? And, glory be to God, that dream came true. Maybe I should've asked God if he could line me up some employment post-graduation as well, lol. But that's another story for another day. We were stupid, like we were freshmen year, and went from the Dean Dome all the way to Franklin St. For those of y'all familiar with the Chapel Hill area, that's not a short walk or run. Relating back to frosh year, we ran all the way from around that area to Franklin St. after we beat Dook. "Never again!", I told myself (but at least we didn't run). I saw a bunch of tomfoolery last night: i.e. people jumping over and into the bonfires, people climbing streetlights and roofs, people flashing people, people crowd-surfing on broken-down street signs (that was a first!). And where were the cops? Just posted up on the steps of a nearby church, chillin' HARD. But whatever. I saw a lot of eye candy out there, but I looked a mess anyway. But since I have a "sort-of" boo, so I kept my hands to myself, lmao. Speaking of the boo, things are...well, going with him. I kinda feel like I'm reverting back to my spoiled ways, and he's the type of dude that'll nip that shit in the bud real quick. I'm also at the point where I wanna take things slow. I like him a whole lot, and I don't think I've ever liked someone so quickly, but I'm not tryna put myself out there to be shot down, either. I have my last relationship to thank for my feeling this way, being afraid to be with someone. But I mean, I did just get out of that situation like, three months ago and it's gonna take a little more time, I suppose. He's essentially going through the same thing with his ex-girlfriend that I'm going through with my ex, so we're sort of helping each other through that. But it's obvious that there's a ton of chemistry there (well, that's what folks have told me anway :D ). I've been looking for one-bedroom apartments and I was telling my mom about it today. She was like, "I don't wanna talk about this right now because I get emotional". Aww! I can only imagine what she's going through, because I feel like I'm just growing up. I guess I'll understand it better when I have kids. Speaking of having children, my 16-year-old cousin went into labor about an hour and a half ago. I could shake my head all day and night, but that's my cousin and I love her, irresponsibilities and all. There having a welcome-back celebration thing-thing for the men's bball team @ the Dean Dome (they get back in about 20 minutes), but I think I'm gonna just take it on home. I need to finish this 8-page paper, son. Maybe on the way home, I can find a newspaper, cuz all them thangs is GONE.
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| Nothing MuchWell, another boring ass, busy ass week has passed me by. I can't say that it was completely boring, but for the most part, yes. I chilled with some male (and female) friends, had step practice every day last week, did a shit-ton of schoolwork, had a dispute with my wack-ass roommates, and went to a career fair. Yeah, I'll finish this when I get to class; gotta dip out!
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